In my former life as a Criminal Investigator, I got to wear plainclothes to work and on call out duty. Naturally, being a woman, I was all about the clothes and shoes that I could wear to work. It had to be comfortable but still cop-like, in case I had to fight someone or go through a door or something like that. I also couldn’t run around in heels or strappy sandals, as much as I would have liked to. My footwear of choice was usually a pair of comfortable Timberlands or something dressy but practical for court. Then of course there were the Hi-Tecs in case I ever had to be in uniform or tactical gear or whatever.

My favorite shoes however, were always Doc Martens. I think I had about six or seven different pairs that I tromped around in – black/brown/tan/hi-cut/lo-cut whatever, if they were Docs, I had them.

There was one problem with my Doc’s though.

Every time I wore a new pair, someone ended up dead.

For real.

The first time, I had some nice tan mid ankle ones with a really thick sole that I was sporting with some new jeans and I’m sure some prepped out shirt. I tried to balance my wardrobe between preppy and punk – prunky?

Anyway, that day some young man decided to put a Russian assault rifle under his chin and pull the trigger. I’m glad I had them on, because that’s not a mess you want to be flitting around in wearing nothing less than nuclear grade soles.

The next time, I was wearing my new black hi-lace Docs around and had just washed them off after walking around at the stockyard in poop and dust. Then we got a call of a drowning in a  pond. Needless to say, they got washed again. Several times that day.

Next ? Brown low classic style Doc’s. The poor soul who drew the Doc Marten death card that day was murdered by some wayward youth and had sat in an un-airconditioned mobile home for a few days before anyone found him. In July. He wasn’t only a stinker, he was a slider. You probably don’t want the full on definition for a slider, but let’s just say that your skin starts to break down after a few days and if someone tries to move you it will, well….never mind.

Finally, the last ones I can remember were my black classic low-riders. Wreck on the interstate. Seven people in a car meant for four. Not one of them had on a seat belt. Three were DRT (dead right there), and four were on their way to the hospital on a wing and a prayer. One of the poor dearly departed was so badly mangled on his way out of the jagged metal mess that he left his ear in the emergency lane. Which promptly got stuck to the bottom of my shoe when I accidentally stepped on it. Prompting several weeks of officers and medics shouting at my shoes “Hey hey can ya hear me?” ….. emergency personnel have a sick,twisted sense of humor. It keeps them from going absolutely insane.

I still have all of those Doc Martens. They sit high on a shelf in a closet full of my things at the lake house.

One day maybe I’ll wear them again, but with all of the stuff going on in my life these last 15 months?

I’m kind of afraid to.

There were certain areas in our county that always gave me the heebie-jeebies. Even though I had several guns at my disposal, just having to go to these areas always increased my pucker factor tenfold.

One of these areas was known as “Henleyfield”. Now, not all of that area was heeb inducing, just a few spots. And only at night. During the day I was fine, but throw me out there around 2am and I was checking the back seat for haint’s about every 5 seconds. If you don’t know what a haint is, click here …….

So anyway, one night I got a call out to Henleyfield to check on a loud music complaint. Luckily, I had my friend and reserve officer Beau riding with me, and being the manly man he was is I was only had half the heebs I usually did. Right then.

Normally loud music complaints are routine, teenagers or drunken adults jamming out to the music of the moment or someone wanting to show off their ride. Normally. But as I learned early on in my law enforcement career, nothing in Pearl River County is normal !

We got close to the location of the call and pulled off to the side of the road with the windows down to listen out for the alleged noise. Immediately we could hear music coming out of the woods and see lights through the trees from the house. We slowly crept along the road and then up the long dirt drive that led to the house. Upon entering the clearing where it was, it looked like something put of a scene from a weird movie. Old cars, junk and even a school bus littered the yard, and every light in the house was on and the yard was lit up with floodlights. And there was music. Loud, haunting music.

Courtesy of Miss Patsy Cline.

Good thing I peed before we left town.

Beau and I walked all over that yard, through the fully lit, every door and window open shack house, cleared each bus, van, and ramshackle car on blocks, and never found anyone. Not even Miss Cline. Only her incarnation, recorded forever on a cassette tape blaring out of the rotting husk of a Chevy Cavalier. We silenced Patsy, tried to secure the house and got the hell out of there. I never did find out where the owner was, and I never got called back to find him rotting away in the woods, so I guess he’s still there.

Crazy.

Inside was a letter from a childhood friend of my father’s. I won’t put her name here in order to respect her privacy, but I will put the text of her letter here, and I think that explains it all…..

February 23, 2010

To her I say thank you, your letter means so very much to me and I am sure to my mother as well. It invoked memories of the town my father and I were both lucky enough to call home, and cemented another precious memory of him in my mind and heart. The pin that you included was shared by my father and grandfather, and will now be mine, and I will treasure it forever. There are no words to express what your simple act of a kindness has meant to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

…and I was there to see it. It was a moment I will never forget, and one that I will cherish forever. In the city I love, surrounded by my close friends, and basking in the feeling of so many that feel the same way. Grown men crying, strangers hugging strangers, screaming so loud until our voices were hoarse, and cries of “Who Dat” filling the streets. It was one of the most emotional moments I think I’ve ever experienced. And it wasn’t just football. It was the city, the memories, the two men that shared those memories in that city with me. I was crying for my team, but I was crying for them. I was crying for my grandparents, my great aunt. All of the people who passed their love of the city onto me. I felt them with me. And it felt good.

Yes, I know what it means to miss New Orleans.

But I also know she lives within me. And I am never alone.

Who Dat.

Sunday was always “our day“. Think I’ve mentioned that before.

When I lived in Poplarville, if we weren’t spending the day together, we were on the phone. We listened to a local radio show here called Reg’s Coffee House. I would listen online, and he would listen to it on the radio. I would get the playlist, download the songs we liked, and burn him a cd once a month or so. I think I made eight in all.

When we were finally together, we would listen to it at the lake, in the pool or on the boat, or sitting on our back porch here at home having our traditional Sunday bottle of champagne. And I bought G an iPod shuffle so he could take some of the music to the gym or traveling. I have all of the CD’s, and the shuffle, but I can’t listen to that music anymore. I tried, but it just isn’t gonna happen.

I am drinking champagne on Sunday though. I bought a new glass, just for me, and usually on Sunday evenings I sit on the back porch, drop some strawberries and blackberrys in my glass and sit out there and watch the boys play.

(If you are new- the boys aren’t chirren – they’re my dogs!)

Our two glasses still sit in their normal spot at our bar…..I just can’t drink out of mine. It doesn’t quite feel right.

Actually , nothing feels right anymore.

I miss him so much. Sundays used to be so happy. Now I don’t even like to think about it. I never understood what the term “month of Sundays” meant.

I wish I had several “months of Sundays” with Gregory again.

I miss you baby. I love you.

I’m gonna go have our champagne and a good cry now.