08-29-2005 

…I swear, you knew someone would use a play on that crappy song, didn’t ya? ( With apologies to Dexy’s Midnight Runners )

I posted the obligatory hurricane post a few years ago, so I thought in light of the first hurricane to strike the US mainland in several years, I’d repost it and add links to other fabulous links here, including one from THE AMAZING ANGIE ( her real name ) over at The Daily Curve , and my friend The Peachy One at Being Peachy.

I added a few things I had forgotten, and please, even though the tone of the post is lighthearted, if you are in a storm’s path, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

Reposted from 2009: 

 In yet another nod to my bad luck with weather.....

It seems like it was just yesterday that we were being battered by Hurricane Katrina. But it was only 4 years ago. But today, to me, my friends and family and so many others, it’s still fresh. (and FYI – I was a detective with the Sheriff’s Dept – we were all on call, I couldn’t leave)…..

A day or so before my friends and I were having a shrimp boil and hanging out in the pool and the hot tub joking and screaming “we’re all gonna die” and thought that beer was an essential staple. Turned out it was, but more about that later….

When that monster turned and took aim right at the Mississippi Gulf Coast it wasn’t so carefree anymore…..it was like “oh shiz”, and a mass exodus from said party was in full force…..see that county it’s splitting through the middle of? Yea. Mine.

And it decimated us. My house was still standing, albeit with three trees in it and countless damage outside……even 50 miles inland we had 125 mph winds..16 people died in my county (Pearl River) alone….it took away many of the landmarks from my childhood…..

The restaurants that my grandparents took me to…..

And my adulthood……here’s before and after pics of one of my favorite hangouts….

Yet New Orleans got all of the attention. Sure it was bad there, but it wasn’t the only place that was affected.. And the citizens of NOLA were afforded the opportunity to GET OUT in plenty of time. Many chose not to. You didn’t see government funded buses hauling people out of Biloxi, Bay St. Louis or Pascagoula….you saw friends, relatives and caring neighbors taking care of one another. And it had nothing to do with race, sex or anything. It had to do with stubborn people who WOULDN’T LEAVE and then when they decided to? It was too late. We got hundreds of calls for people begging us to come help them, but we couldn’t until the storm was gone.

Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE NOLA…..yall know it is hands down one of my favorite places on earth….but so is the Mississippi Gulf Coast….I have been back several times since the storm, and am amazed at the tenacity of the people there and how it’s coming back. It will never be the same, of course, but life goes on.

I learned alot from going through a big storm, and sure I’d been through tons of tropical storms and Cat 1 and 2′s , but nothing like this…so below are some bullet points of what you might want to do before, during and after when a big storm is a’comin’……

• *Stock up on beer and snacks. Your friends will thank you. And don’t worry about spending much. In a disaster even Natty Lite and Beanee Weenies are gourmet.
• *Sterno. See above referenced beanee weenies.
• *Cash. Think you can just run to an ATM? Yea, try that with no power. Plus, your friend can borrow $20 today and gladly pay you $30 on Wednesday.
• *Cigarettes. You don’t smoke?? No problem. You can sell those sticks like they’re gold to the nicotine freaks , add a lighter and you’re getting $10 a pack.
• *A satellite phone. No really. Either that or a lot of gas and matches (you’ll have plenty of wood) to send smoke signals, cause more bars in more places?? Can you hear me now?? Not.
• *Propane Propane Propane…..or a charcoal grill and lots of charcoal. That way when your friends that shop at Sam’s and Costco have to get rid of all of their bulk steaks and chicken, you don’t have to eat Beanee Weenies !!!! YAY !!!
• *Clean all your garbage cans and tubs and set them outside to catch the rain from the storm. that way, you can use the water to take a spit bath. And to flush the terlet.
• *Get LARGE garbage bags. They keep your valuables dry, are handy in case of hypothermia, and are a great way to lose a few pounds if you stroll around in one after the A/C has been out for a few hours.
• *ICE ICE BABY ….and a HUGE marine ice chest to store it in. And rock salt. It keeps your ice from melting so quickly, thus keeping your beer colder longer. And everyone knows steaks go better with cold beer.
• *Chinet – ever tried to cut a nice juicy steak on a dollar store paper plate sitting on your lap? Usually you cut a few arteries as well. And you china snobs don’t turn your nose up. Your fancy schmancy dishwasher isn’t gonna work for awhile. You’re roughing it. Deal.
• *Bug Spray and citronella candles – OMG. The bugs and skeeters that come out after a storm are the size of Shaq….and if you have kids they can set up a spray stand on the street and charge people $1 to spray them down. If the bugs don’t haul them off like little mice. May want to invest in a weighted vest as well. And? MATCHES !
• *Lidless toilet seat and baby wipes – usually the water goes out. Ever poop in a 5 gallon bucket? It’s a lot easier if you don’t have to hover. And no bidet is gonna work, so break out the butt wipes. And don’t roll up your nose and ewwww at me. If you wanna use a gallon jug of bottled water every time someone needs to tinkle or drop the kids off at the pool you have more money than sense and probably could have evacuated to the Ritz.
• *A shotgun. One word? LOOTIE !! (with great taste in beer – but alas, no ice)

You may ask yourself why I didn’t mention gas, generators, bottled water,flashlights etc. Hell everyone knows to get that, but when you’re running around nilly-willy getting ready to get “BLOWED AWAY” , you forget the little things that mean the most.

Take it from me, hurricane sur-vi-vah…..stick to this list dear reader, and you’ll be safe in the eye of the storm….