Archive for the ‘Birthday’ Category

Happy 10th Birthday Ted Terrific !! (Teddy is named after Theodore Roosevelt. Hence his nickname, Mr. President)

He’s been my best dog through a lot of stuff, and we’re both older and fatter and probably not a lot wiser, and I hope he sticks around for many more birthdays.

Love you buddy  !

Happy Birthday Gregory Mann ….. I miss you every moment, and I will love you forever.

I am very conflicted about this week.

I will feel happy, sad, guilty, every emotion you can think of.

In this week, my parents will celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary.

I will turn 40 , and celebrate with friends on the 5 month mark of the death of my beloved.

The dog that Gregory wanted so badly and is such a comfort to me now will be a year old on Saturday.

I’m excited to see my friends, but I’m also mad.

I’m mad that I’m not checking into the all-inclusive resort with Gregory to celebrate my birthday.

I feel guilty about celebrating getting another year older when he will never have another birthday , ever.

I’m jealous of my parent’s having the luck to spend 42 years with the person they love when I will never have that, but so happy and proud of them at the same time. And I feel guilt for the jealousy.

I’m sad because this will probably be the last one they will celebrate before the effing gd s-o-b cancer takes my Daddy away forever.

And I’m scared because I don’t know if I can take losing my husband and my daddy, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to be strong enough to help my mom.

And even though I’m excited and tweeting about #kimberday and all that, deep down?

I’m terrified.

And the one person who could make it all better is never. coming. back.

And I’m mad as hell about it.