I just found out that my mother-in-law died recently. I found out via a friend from the area who saw her obituary in the paper. No one from the family told me.

My mother-in-law. Even though her son up and died on me, I still considered her family. Well, until she took the side of her money hungry son and granddaughter and decided to support them in fighting the will. Then I guess she just became Doris. The woman I took care of when she was in the hospital, who I took to lunch regularly, called everyday, etc, became a spiteful, bitter old woman. Well, to be fair, she was always that way. I gotta admit, at first, it ticked me off that not one of them had the common courtesy to at least let me know. Even if I had known, I would not have gone to the funeral in order to avoid any crap or start any. But I would have at least sent flowers, a card, a memorial of some sort. Because that’s the right thing to do.

I’ve written before on this website about “good christians”. Of course I’m being sarcastic and referring to those who claim to be then turn around and act undecidedly unchristian. Most of the time, I’m referencing my former in-laws, Gregory’s ex-wife and most of the family, including my mother-in-law. Gregory’s brother is VERY active in his hometown church, as is his wife, as was Doris. G’s ex-wife is at the church every time the doors open and claims to be a “godly woman”. Yet these are the same people that abandoned me in my greatest time of need and turned to the Church of the Almighty Dollar.

Instead of doing the right thing, they did the right thing for them. They ignored the ideals they allegedly embrace and instead became the very type of people they proclaim need to be saved. But enough about them. What about me? And you? Do we do the right thing? Are we the kind of people we want to be? I know I’m not, not totally. But I try to work on it as much as I can. And I know I could do better.

In the grand scheme of things, isn’t that what most of us strive for everyday? To do the right thing, either for yourself or others? At the very least we should. And I’ve noticed that in my own little circle of life, it seems the ones that are supposed to love you the most screw you the worst. My stepdaughter, my brother-in-law, and of course, the ongoing saga of my mother and her brother, the renowned Uncle Asshole.

And these are the same people that smile at you on the street, slap your back at church, promise great things of themselves, and pretend to be pillars of the community. Yet the best word I can think to describe most of them is HYPOCRITE.

And it’s not just family. It’s those “good christians”, community leaders, and more and more, politicians. The lack of decency towards others is really spiraling out of control. It’s sad that I am more often surprised by someone who has manners and is nice than I am by someone who is a rude douche canoe. If we truly “did unto others” most of us would be up shit creek with a raging case of hemorrhoids.

I’m no exception. In too many instances in my life I’ve been rude, condescending, even quite the raging bitch. The difference is, I never claimed to be a pillar of purity, a leader, a moral island in the sea of inequity. I cuss a lot. I drink a little. Or vice-versa. Bygones. To quote the great Jimmy Buffett “I don’t go to church and I don’t cut my hair.” But since losing my husband and father, I’ve tried to remember what it is to be nice to someone, just because. Because I remember how much it meant for someone to be nice to me when I needed it most. I try harder now to pay it forward, put some savings in the karma bank, blow sunshine up someone’s butt, yadda yadda yadda. Because you never know if that person next to you has just had the worst day of their life, or is going through something you cannot even imagine. And you never know when you might be next. To quote another random inspirational line, if you’re gonna talk the talk, you better be ready to walk the walk. That person that hates you? Wave real big at and grin as you pass them in the store. See your worst enemy at the park? Walk up to them and give em a big old hug. Buy the guy that dumped you a beer and show him how great you look in your latest dress. You know it will burn their ass, so that should make you feel better immediately, and your karma will increase exponentially!

I have to remind myself every day to do better, to be better. I’d like for you to remind me too. I think if we all reminded each other, maybe we could turn the tide, just a little, and hopefully make our lives and someone else’s a wee bit better. There’s no sense in letting the hypocrites and the fakers take us down along with them. I heard a saying once that goes something like “harboring resentment against a person is like you drinking poison and waiting for them to die.” Letting go of the hatred and the anger I have for those people is the best thing I can do for myself and those around me.

Because in the end, it’s the right thing to do.

It’s always great to get a phone call from an old neighbor telling you that your formerly pristine yard now looks like crap. Actually, I believe the exact phrase he coined was “Gregory would be rolling in his grave if he could see this.” Well, if he had  a grave. I thought I had heard some odd noises coming from that urn, but I chalked it up to the wine.

In case you don’t know, I am stuck in probate hell. My former stepdaughter, instead of talking directly to me about the will, decided to fight me and brought attorneys into it, screwing herself and me. Basically, we’ve been tied up in court for almost two years, and the attorneys will get most of the money that would have gone to me, her and my stepson. Not too smart. Took after her mother.

Basically, the whole situation has been taken over by the Shelby County Probate Court. The estate made me move out of the house 7 months ago because they put it up for sale instead of giving me the option to buy it, and according to the Shelby County Probate Court, the executor they assigned to the case is supposed to be taking care of the home and promoting the sale of it.  I know the house note is getting paid because I get the e-mail every month, but otherwise, I don’t know what in the hell they’ve been doing.

I drove to the old manor on one of my excursions out of the sticks, and OMG. No wonder my neighbors are pissed. Now I’m no realtor, and I’m certainly no attorney, but I know that a house with a yard that looks like this? It’s not gonna sell.

Weeds three feet high. Hedges untrimmed. Leaves everywhere. Trash in the yard. The holly tree has gone uncut and has grown into and under the gutters. The back porch is covered in trash and things left in the house. It looks like crap.

I took pictures, which I sent to my attorney and to the court. I also spoke to the head of the management company that oversees the subdivision, and she is sending a scathing letter to the courts and is considering filing a zoning violation claim against the estate if things aren’t cleaned up. Maybe this will force them to do something. Or, like everything else, they’ll drag their feet and take their sweet time doing nothing except collecting their money. Another fabulous part of being a widow. Can’t you taste the sarcasm?

Good job running that probate case Shelby County. Hope everything else you deal with doesn’t turn to crap.

**UPDATE  @0944am – Harvey Almorn Updyke has been arrested for the crime and more details are upcoming. Hope he likes that ORANGE jumpsuit.**

**UPDATE 2 – If this doesn’t prove the guy is totally insane , read this …….. Barnes said he and Updyke attended Alabama’s BCS national championship win over Texas in the Rose Bowl at the end of the 2009 season. He also said two of Updyke’s children are Crimson Tyde Updyke and Bear Bryant Updyke. Barnes said he wanted to name another child Ally Bama Updyke, but her mother wouldn’t let him.**

Today I am sickened by the actions of an individual who shares this state with me. I don’t know this person, nor do I want to, but he has made himself known to myself and the rest of the Auburn Family by his despicable act .

This person poisoned the 130 year old oaks at Toomer’s Corner. Purposefully. And then he called a local sportscaster’s radio show and BRAGGED about it. And right before he hung up, he proudly declared “Roll Damn Tide.” Now I’m no brain surgeon, but I know that is not the battle cry of an Auburn fan. It is the spirit cry of the University of Alabama, our in-state rival and fellow SEC team.

There are many good Alabama fans. This SOB is not one of them.

People across Alabama, fans of both teams, have lit message boards and blog comments on fire with their own opinions. Most are overwhelmingly positive and in favor of finding and punishing the person that did this, and then of course there are the usual trolls who weigh in with their childish comments and stabs at what they stupidly call “cow college”. Some Alabama fans have compared it to when an Auburn jersey was put on the statue of Bear Bryant prior to the Iron Bowl last year. Uh, WTF ? Sorry, that’s like comparing, oh, divorce and death ? That was a harmless joke, the jersey was removed without damage to the statue or anything around it. This was a malicious act that will permanently damage those trees and the soil around them, possibly preventing anything else from ever growing there. Comparing the two is laughable.

These aren’t just trees. They are icons. They are symbols of our university. They represent the strength of our students, our alumni, our scholars and athletes. After every win or Auburn event they are rolled in toilet paper, a celebration known as “rolling Toomer’s corner.” The Auburn family knows that Toomer’s is THE gathering point when anything, good or bad, happens. Even tonight, as the news was breaking, people gathered among the oaks.

The oaks at Toomer’s are a huge part of our Auburn family, our traditions, our history. And of mine.

I hope a miracle happens and they are a part of it for the next 130 years.

War Eagle.