Surreal
It’s surreal to think that four years ago today I came home from work and found my husband in a coma.
Even more so that he was dead little more than 48 hours later.
The dictionary defines surreal as “having an oddly dreamlike quality.”
Yea, that about describes it, except I might replace dreamlike with nightmarish.
Even now, four years later, the whole thing plays in my head like one of those old 8mm films my grandfather used to have. There’s no sound, just the flickering images. Gregory falling, getting up, laughing about it, saying he was fine. Me pushing him repeatedly to go get checked, him steadfastly refusing, me finally acquiescing. Three days of normalcy, nothing more than a black eye and a funny story to tell our family.
How would I know this would be the last picture I’d ever take of him?? How did we go from there, to here?
It was supposed to be a funny story. And then it was the end of ours.
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12 Responses to “Surreal”
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A cajun gulf coast girl trapped in the armpit of Alabama, wading through widowhood, going back to college after being a cop for 20 years, detailing adventures in retail, probate and life with the help of two terriers, chocolate, and lots of wine. Always on the lookout for a little lagniappe & random chin hairs.
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One hell of an anniversary. I’m thinking of you.
Been there girl, I hate all the last things anniversaries.
Thinking of you today.
Holy shit Kim. That sounds surreal. And is also so fucking tragic. I’m so sorry.
Thinking of you today.
Thinking of you Cozzie today as always. XOXO
Love you, Kim. xoxoxoxo
It almost sounds like you haven’t recovered from the shock of it yet. How quickly your life changed completely. Sad anniversaries like this are so hard. Yes, I’m a Master of The Obvious. My heart goes out to you that you have to relive the loss of your love over and over. Maybe it is your subconscious mind’s way of keeping him close. Give yourself permission to be sad for a set amount of time and then kick up your heels, toss back a cocktail and enjoy the fact that you’re still here! xoxo
Yes, how would you know… <3
It gets a little easier but it never goes away. I’m so sorry Kim.
Hugs from Minnesota
Marie
Love you, babe. xoxoxo
I’ve been going through all your posts tagged “Gregory” or “Grief” and sending them to my cousin Eric’s fiance – he passed away suddenly in January, and I am 100% certain that reading about someone else’s grief, expressed so honesty and coherently, is helping her. I hope you know that you sharing your experience is helping someone somewhere in this big big world.
Much love -
Sable