Dating Hell – February Edition #1, now with action photos !
Yes, it’s just now February. But this post couldn’t wait. Between some of the pictures I’ve been sent and seen on profiles, not to mention certain messages and chats, I had to get it out of my brain so I can begin cleansing myself of it.
After January’s post, I thought this would be something I could post about once a month. With this much fodder it might turn into once a week.
I have been contacted by married guys, separated guys, short guys, tall guys, mullet guys, bald guys, freaks, geeks and probable serial killers. And a nice young couple just wanting to have a threesome. There is also a man that wants me to be his “Mastress” and go to something called “DomCon” with him. Y’all, I couldn’t even Google that for fear of what dirty online hole I might fall down into. There has been ONE possibility in this seemingly endless parade of doofuses that march through my inbox, one. We have chatted a few times and may meet for a drink, but in the meantime I’m being patient and seeing how long he can stay normal. Please dating gods, please. I just want one.
For your pleasure, dear reader, a sample of some of the things I read on profiles or was sent by men who expressed interest in/contacted me this week…
- husband and wife looking for fun.
- Yes, I totally dig NICKLEBACK!! (what an appropriate typo)
- I have to be Honest, and let folks know I am know in the early stages of what could a Very Awesome Relationship…I would delete this profile altogether, but haven’t figgered out how to do that yet. (Must be a great relationship if you are still messaging other women. Douche.)
- You take me to a strip club?
- I really would like to find our how many women are real.
- the good guys like myself r looked over for the peice of sh*tpretty boys an players that r just out for a peice of ass lol an everyone knows what im talking about lol…. (Must have missed “I before E except after C” day )
- I have an extreme voyeuristic fetish
- if I were looking for an easy spread I would go by a jar of “miracle whip”
And now, a selection of photographs for your viewing pleasure…
If I hadn’t had my dead husband cremated I would dig him up and kick his ass for leaving me to deal with this shit.
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6 Responses to “Dating Hell – February Edition #1, now with action photos !”
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A cajun gulf coast girl trapped in the armpit of Alabama, wading through widowhood, going back to college after being a cop for 20 years, detailing adventures in retail, probate and life with the help of two terriers, chocolate, and lots of wine. Always on the lookout for a little lagniappe & random chin hairs.
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My account at match dot com was hacked and so we had to take it down and I had to start over. I had a lady from Match on the phone helping me with it and I asked her why she kept sending me just the ugly ones?? She laughed until she probably peed and said we just go by the profiles. I was sending pics to my sister by e-mail just so she could see what was out there. Even she had to admit they were pretty awful. I had to laugh when I saw yours, the karate guy was ok but the naked one? Seriously? That’s not attractive to anyone dude! What site lets you put on naked pics? lol I have seen more nose hair (from self pics) than I ever care to see, more pics from the neck up, bad spelling, bad writing, bad everything.
Anyway, good luck with your searching!
Hugs from Minnesota
Marie
Oh wow. Just wow. Holy shit Kim, those are just bad. The naked guy cracks me up though. Does he really think that will work?!
And I snorted at the part about digging up your husband.
I hope this one guy stays normal!!
Oh dear LAWD Kim, oh that’s so awful!
This is HYSTERICAL!!! I can’t even.. I am spitting out my wine!
If I wasn’t afraid of being kidnapped I’d be tempted to start a business helping these men have better profiles. But then you wouldn’t be able to figure out who the creepers are, so I guess it’s for the best. Still can’t believe naked dude…
I have no idea how I ended up here looking at saggy blurred balls and the world’s strangest pose, but I’m oh so grateful that I found it.
Please never stop dating. I haven’t laughed this hard in a while.