Live from the 205

Before and after…..

I’ve never really defined my life by time, like by birthdays, major events, etc.

Until last year.

In March of 2009 I started defining things as “before and after Gregory.”

My life began to have a specific timeline.

On December 21st of 2009, I added another timeline….”Before and after my daddy died.”

Everywhere I look, I’m reminded of the definitive lines that have been drawn in my life, across my heart and mind.

I know one day I’ll be able to look back and enjoy the happy memories that I have from all the times of my life….but right now?

I feel as empty inside as the after……

7 Responses to “Before and after…..”

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  1. Lynda says:

    I’ve done the same thing with my sister’s death, but as time marches on, even that has faded.

  2. Franna-TRL says:

    I, too, tend to select events, Kim. It’s natural. However, I think you’ll find that over the years, the memories become less traumatic and more of a way of keeping things in order.

    Don’t get me wrong, the pain of loss is still there, it just becomes less gut-wrenching.

    Over time, the good memories will start out-weighing the bad.

  3. LOVIN7 says:

    Having just lost my mom I know how you feel. Although she didn’t live with us I don’t have any place to go 3 days a week like I did when I went to visit her at the nursing home. Last night I put her blanket over me and found some of her hair on it and thought “This is all I have left of her besides memories” Hang in there sweetie. ((HUGS))

  4. Oh honey! I wish I was close enough to hug you right now! I don’t think there is anything else I could do that would help. Hugs my friend!!

  5. muskrat says:

    i can’t imagine. thinking about you and appreciate your kindness to me lately! have a good weekend-

  6. Christy says:

    I have been lurking on your blog for a few weeks now. I was very touched by this post and the before/after pictures. You have had a lot on your plate this year and I feel your pain when I read your posts, but I also feel your inner strength. You have become an inspiration to me; keep your chin up, girl.

  7. Angi says:

    This is how I feel right now. I have to go into work this week and pack up my best friends desk. I have to find a way to go to work and be productive, even though my friend is gone…forever. The chair is to empty. My lunch calendar is blank. It’s too hard to even imagine now, but tomorrow the after starts.

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